Fluidity

Many of life’s lessons come from nature;

we can learn from the trees and the grasses, and gain knowledge in the oceans, the skies, the creatures. Since my childhood, I’ve been particularly intrigued by rivers and their flow.  

Our family would go to  the village of Cheshmeh Safeed during the summers, a little town that was home to no more than one hundred people, with no electricity.  Some of my fondest memories are of playing with my cousins in the river. We bathed and swam, splashed and played. 

This river became a symbol to me.

Flying is icing on the cake. 

Fluidity allows us to adapt to the detours and obstacles life throws us, allowing us to find new paths that lead to happiness. Perhaps you’ll stay true to your original destination, or perhaps you’ll discover new, uncharted destinations that are better than anything you could have dreamed for yourself. 

Equanimity

As any river flows to the sea rain creates streams that pour into it, flowing continuously to give life to every community it passes.

Its give and take is part of a natural equilibrium that ends with the river disappearing, giving up all it has gathered, no longer an entity of its own but ending its journey by becoming part of the whole as it pours itself into the sea.

A river is constant in its quest for balance.

Consider the mighty Mississippi with a flow rate of hundreds of thousands of cubic feet of water per second. The immense force of that rushing water is balanced by the force of the banks that hold it back. Swollen with rains, the force of the river overcomes the strength of the banks and floods the surrounding area. Perhaps it cuts out a new channel, carving out an oxbow curve, finding a new, maybe even shorter path. A new equilibrium is found with the force of the water matching the force of the ground. It’s this kind of harmony we all yearn for; to flow along and contribute to the landscape. 

Some people flow through life, consumed with the idea of having more, collecting everything, struggling to hold on they become stingy and small. Instead of giving back, they try to dam the flow to have a greater share. Whether the dam bursts or not, there’s disharmony that interrupts the natural, ancient rhythm of giving and receiving. It’s often hard to recognize the cause of this imbalance in our lives. 

If life gives us a lot, whether its genes that create a work ethic, parents who sacrificed, an inherited intelligence, we will find ourselvesin a place where we can use these gifts to give to others.

By sharing what life brings us, we create a different kind of happiness and a greater world good.

My father was a compassionate man. Strangers would show up at our house in Tehran, many of them from Chesmeh Safeed. It didn’t matter who they were. My father, with his generous heart, invited them in, giving them a place to stay as they found their way, looking for work, trying to improve their lives. 

These villagers weren’t the most educated or sophisticated people, and often our neighbors would shake their head at the constant parade of country folk that moved through our house. But my father never blinked. He didn’t judge people on where they came from but accepted them for who they were. There was no ulterior motive for his generosity, he was simply a giving person. 

When the government in Iran changed, my father continued to help, but because he had been associated with the Shah’s military, he was under suspicion. More than once, he was brought into the police station to be questioned, yet invariably, would run into someone he’d helped – an officer or policeman. They would say, “Mr. Akradi, what are you doing here?” and send him home. 

It wasn’t payback. They didn’t help because they felt they owed him, they did it because they had proof he was a decent human being. He constantly gave to others, selflessly, without any expectation. In a way, they were following his example. He had shown compassion all his life, and people were now moved to show it to him. 

His life is a great example of the flow of give and take. Generosity is rewarding to the giver, generating not only the benefits to the recipient, but the warmth and affection it generates in anyone who gives. It’s how we experience and enjoy the connections that bind us together. 

To me, there is no deeper feeling and my father’s example of this was his most valuable gift to me.

What kind of river are you? What kind of river do you want to be?

There are all sorts of rivers, some fast and clear, full of rapids, rushing down a steep slope or waterfall. Others are calm and gentle. The same river may be very different at different stages of its journey.

Talking to a teacher or social worker is an enlightening experience. These unsung heroes often deal with people whose lives are a tangled mess. Their students or clients have so many real problems, it’s hard to know where to start. These professionals are often working in giant and uncaring bureaucracies. How do they keep going? You’ll discover that the successful ones, the brilliant ones, all have something in common.

They succeed because they don’t imagine themselves as mighty as the Mississippi sweeping all problems before them. Instead they see themselves as patient streams, persistently flowing over or around obstacles, always searching for a way forward. The smallest stream can wear down a rock, even if it takes a lifetime.

Usually people who are drawn into these fields have the personality and attitude to match their abilities. Their vision and personalities are aligned.