The One True Measure of Success
No one can tell you what your life goals should be, or what it means to succeed. As you begin to define the idea for yourself, you may come to the same realization I did. It was a lesson taught repeatedly, starting as a young man but it never really sunk in until I matured and understood a few things differently.
We experience a higher level of fulfillment in life by moving from helping ourselves to helping the people, community and world around us.
As I started out, I’m not embarrassed to admit, I was pretty impressed with material things. Success felt like acquisition; nice cars, a beautiful home, a big boat, a shearling coat that would turn the head of every person in the room.
But what I started to understand was there was a natural flow to life, a balance between receiving and giving. Having things that give you happiness are a natural part of this. Once you start to understand you have enough and there is abundance, it’s part of what motivates you to give freely.
Material goods can never be the true measure of success in life. All that remains after you’re gone are the people you’ve touched, the people who carry on your legacy to the next generations.
In 1979, Iran underwent a violent revolution and became the theocracy it is today. In 1981, my brother Davood died in combat during Iran’s war with Iraq.
Our family grieved apart, spread out across the globe. I was already in America, making my way in the world, so it was six and a half years before my father and I were reunited. My heart ached for the brother I’d idolized. I missed my dad. I paid attention to this and began to notice that no one’s life is an unbroken path of happiness. We all encounter our own share of sorrow and disappointment along with great joy and fortune. I personally had a lot of things, and I lost a lot of things, which lead me to this conclusion.
The only thing that matters is the love.
We can seek success, we can achieve great things, but true joy lies in the times we have with others, showing up as a giving, caring person.
No matter how much money you have, how many things you have collected, the second you die, you no longer have them. Your ownership of things vanishes as soon as you do. But the love you create in this life lives on long after you are gone.
Over the past century, advancements in science and technology have enabled us to decode just about everything:
how our bodies and minds work, the masterpieces of mother nature, the operation of the planet and universe.
As we’ve deciphered the world around us, we’ve also begun to replicate it. In some cases, we’ve designed systems so innovative that they can do things just as well as, if not better than, we can (and if they’re not better than us yet, they will be in time — think self-driving cars, artificial wombs, etc.).
Artificial intelligence is already being used to improve and advance a variety of industries — from finance and healthcare, to manufacturing, education, and transportation. According to some experts and futurists, AI computing may exceed the processing power of all human brains on earth by midcentury.
Yet one thing that I can’t imagine AI being able to truly replicate is the human capacity for love, in whatever form it takes.
From a biological perspective, love is complex, involving certain parts of the brain, an array of hormones and neurochemicals that work together just so to create feelings of compassion, passion and desire.
Based on this knowledge, some might argue that AI will be able to love in the future since we can now mimic the structure and function of the brain.
Yet we don’t fully understand why we develop love with some people more easily than with others, why we fall in love with a certain someone, why we become passionate about particular topics and causes. Beyond familial and parental love, there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason for who or what we love.
Our ability to communicate love sets us apart from other species. Only we are capable of channeling this behavior to transform our circumstances, our communities, and even our world. And in this time of growing division, we need to tap into it now more than ever.
It’s important to recall historical lessons, whether from spiritual figures — Jesus, Muhammad, Moses, and Buddha; the literary works of Maya Angelou; the civil and human rights of John Lewis, Martin Luther King, and Gandhi. Individuals still revered by millions today because it was love and kindness that defined their lives.
Despite their struggles and the resistance they encountered, they acted and reacted with love.
Whatever our individual religious beliefs or faith, let us continue to choose to speak and act from a place of love. We can let that divine mystery not only be our guide, but our one true measure of success.
Who did you love? How did you help? What did you give?
